Since starting EMSO in October, my unfaithful spouse is sharing more authentic feelings/emotions and owned old behavior patterns with humility and even apologized in more genuine ways, so he is trying. Inconsistently, I'm still met with blame shifting, sarcasm, defensiveness, shaming, and/or ignoring. If I tell him I don't feel he is being honest/authentic, he responds with "oh yeah! I"m a liar" or if I try and explain he says: "I'm responsible for getting us in this mess so now I'm expected to roll over and just take it". Often it’s about his lack of integrity over "little things" so I feel conflicted in pursuing some issues but his behavior leaves me feeling hopeless, unvalued, insignificant and lost. He says it is unfair that he has to be the one to make so many of the 'repairs'; alluding to his expectation of "tit for tat" or "he will practice some new behavior from our learning as a test to see if I will reciprocate in the same way and if I don't he complains that I’m not doing my part. Per our old relationship, I often just "got over it" (without apology) or owned responsibility for the problem and repairs, but I'm trying to practice a more appropriate level of ownership and a more balanced roll in reconciliation. I understand it is about progress, not perfection, but how do I communicate when I'm feeling like he is testing me or being insensitive, unreasonable and "not getting it"?