My husband and I have both been unfaithful to one another in the past. We never allowed ourselves to heal, we just pushed it aside. Before we got married we split up and I was with a large number of people. I kept this from him and he found out. Even though we weren't together but had been before, and because I kept it from him he feels like I had a lot of affairs. His temperament is melancholic and he doesn't forgive easily. Due to his temperament and childhood he has always tried to test me to prove my dedication. He admits he tests me to see how much he can push me so he can see if I flood. If I do, it shows him I'm not safe. He says he realizes it's not fair but can't stop and needs to heal. How do we get past this so we can both heal? I feel like I work so hard and it's not fair. He's testing me by saying I am not safe and that I’m not doing the work to recover.