Q&A How Do I Get My Husband to Stop Focusing on My Past So He Will Work on His Addiction?

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I was unfaithful as a girlfriend before we were married. I was involved in an emotional affair with an older man from my late teens until well after I started dating my now husband n my late 20's. It took a long time for me to understand what it was. My husband was well aware of my actions both prior to us dating and during our relationship. He convinced me the relationship was inappropriate. We have been Married 5 years and have a son. During our marriage my husband has been an active sex addict. My recent D day was in October. I have been through trickle truths and lies for years not to mention the abuse that came with him covering up his actions or justifying them based on my past. I am in HH and we are in EMSO. I want to address the infidelity and lies in our marriage but he keeps directing the conversation back to my pre marital affair. I understand he could be hurting still. I continually ask him if he needs anything to help feel safe. I have gone through 12 steps. I feel like this is just the way his addiction justifies itself and redirects the conversation. I do not want to be insensitive to his pain but I also want to deal with his current behavior. Is there any way I can acknowledge the past but keep the conversation on the marriage and his current active Sexual Addiction?



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