Q&A How do we Respond to bad Dreams that Cause Triggers and Flooding?

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Question: 

Hi Rick. I was wondering if you can give any advice on how to handle intrusive, bad dreams as a couple. We are 17 months post- d-day and my husband still struggles with bad dreams. Sometimes it's about me and the affair partner. Sometimes it's about me and a random person. At the heart of it, I know the trauma from the betrayal has seared his mind. He usually floods when he has a bad dream over how unjust it is for him to suffer with bad dreams, meanwhile I sleep peacefully; that this is an f'ing miserable life I served us; how the bad dream will haunt him the next day, etc. Can you suggest a healthier way for him, and for me, to handle it when bad dreams happen? I do express empathy but that doesn't usually seem like it does anything for him.

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