Q&A How Much Time Do I Need to Give My Mate to Heal?

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Question: 

My husband had a limerent and physical affair for 2.5 years. Over the last 19 months we have taken all of the AR courses. He relapsed twice, Aug ‘18 was the last time. During most of the course work his heart wasn’t in it but he gave all of the right answers. He knows what to do and say but he is still emotionally distant. I am very open with him about what I need to feel secure and reassured but he just looks at me like I have 2 heads. He doesn’t show empathy or he’ll give me a rote response saying “I can see why you feel that way”. He doesn’t make time to have meaningful conversations about recovery with me no matter how often I ask. There’s usually a “good” reason why it doesn’t happen. We are both doing EMDR. He just started 4 months ago. He hasn’t asked me from his heart to forgive him, I don’t see brokenness, but he does recognize how hurt I am but doesn’t console me much. He said he’s working on himself...but meanwhile, what about us?? We haven’t had sex in a year! He tells me he is committed, that he loves me and wants us to work. How much time do I need to give him?

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