Q&A How Should I Respond to My Betrayed Husband?

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Question: 

He says that what I have done was the worst thing ever (and I don't disagree) and so every bad choice or reaction he has now is because what I have done. He said "I feel like I have to apologize all the time but what would I apologize for? It's all because of what you did". If I bring up an example of something I am giving him grace for, then he turns it back on me for what I did during my affair or anything I did wrong in recovery to date (lots). He is adamant that "there is NEVER grace for what you did". I keep trying to recite the personal responsibility list in my head and stay calm but it doesn't always help. We are 1 year along in recovery.

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