Q&A To Share or Not to Share Pet Peeves?

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Since my wife's affair, we have generally tried to be much more open with each other about everything. But I can be peevish and easily irritated. In our pre-affair marriage I mostly kept these things to myself, knowing that it is my problem, not hers, and there was not a good reason to let her know if some common phrase in her speech that irritates me, or if she made a well-intentioned but accidental error in some sort of family logistics (such as making a restaurant reservation at the wrong time). In the past I would feel aggravated, but thought it was more loving to do the forgiveness in my head and keep it to myself so she wouldn't feel badly. I wouldn't say anything, and would forget the whole thing fairly quickly. I am more inclined these days to tell her whenever I feel annoyed by her. I assume I am annoyed more often, since the affair makes many of the things I previously admired in her seem questionable. But I also feel that we have learned that hiding anything at all can be risky. What do you think: should one keep one's petty peeves to oneself, or is it more protective of intimacy after an affair to just say everything?



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