Q&A What Can We Do About the Triggers?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.

Question: 

Happy New Year Rick! I was betrayed and became unfaithful. My mate has been getting on my nerves since December’s EMS. I'm not sure what to do when he floods almost every day. I feel uncomfortable, stuck and useless. He floods on his knees and hugs my legs. I can't move and I'm interrupted from whatever I was doing. I'm at that "numb" and "stuck" phase with him. I don’t respond. He won't tell me what triggers him. I can't do anything to help. What can I do when he gets triggers in his dreams??? Yesterday, it was a normal day. But I noticed he stayed away all day. He wasn’t being his clingy self. For me, being disconnected, I liked it. But when we were going to bed, I told him what I noticed and how I felt. He admitted he was distant and put himself first because of a triggering dream causing him to flood. It would be nice to know if there's another way. It’s annoying, but frustrating as it is, I don't mind being ignored. I still don't "need" him and I don't feel empathy. I am nice enough to talk to him and tolerate him being around. I'll even initiate some small ways of showing affection. I feel like the flooding, apologizing, and the dam dream triggers have to stop. Obviously I know I can't make him stop, especially dreams. I'd love to hear what you have to say about my little big predicament.

Sections: 

RL_Category: 

RL_Media Type: