Q&A Why Is My Mate Holding Back Details?

We have done EMSO and are 19 months from D-Day. During marriage counseling, my husband has admitted that he's been unfaithful for the 34 years we have been together. We have been married for 30 of those years. When I asked him to give me a ballpark figure of how many women it's been, he said it's not important and that I'm only asking because I want control. I told him he's the one being controlling, since he won't part with the truth. I asked why wasn't I enough for him all these years, and he says I always was. I find that hard to believe because of the fact that he admits to many affairs. He tells me that knowing won't heal me, but I believe that if I know the extent to what he's done, I can know exactly what to pray for and forgive. Why won't he give me that? Why wasn't I enough, Rick? And is it unreasonable to want to know how many times he's cheated?