Q&A Why Is Infidelity So Traumatic?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


Why do you think infidelity is such a trauma for people? I was never a jealous person in relationships prior to my marriage. I'd had a few girlfriends who were not monogamous and it was not a big deal to me. When my wife and I were first dating but had not yet committed to each other, she was still with another boyfriend for an overlapping period of time, and that also did not bother me at all. And in our marriage, I was never bothered if she was attracted to other men; I even enjoyed our honesty with each other about topics like that. But: we are now 20 months after she had an affair, and I am still very affected by it. It is on my mind so much of the time, and I spiral easily into uncomfortable images and still have difficulty sleeping. She did continue with dishonesty that went way past D-day, and I understand that this often sets back recovery, but in general she has been 'safe' and empathic and has taken responsibility for what she did. I am not sure why I still care so much about what she did with someone else almost 2 years ago now.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas